Updated.

Okay, let's get updated.

• Husband found a job in Hawaii.
• Residency will be done in a couple of months.
• Moving back to Hawaii shortly.
• Back in school full-time. Done w/half of the semester.
• Will be doing on-line degree work in Hawaii.
• Thinking of also working toward a M.B.A. thereafter.
• Zoey is almost 2.
• James is finishing up second grade.

Time flies when you're having fun, or maybe just in general.

So this morning at work I realized God caught me on something. How desperately I wanted R to get the position at a certain hospital and when he didn't I was devastated. I cried for days on end and was angry that God hadn't answered our prayers. Well, God knew me better than I knew myself instead he gave us a position at a clinic (not hospital). Looking back at it all, it was silly to think I'd be happy with the husband gone for 7 days straight. Silly me; God 1,255,649,009 vs. me -xxxxx.

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sleep and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. -Psalm 139:1-8

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. -Proverbs 13:12

We definitely

had our share of deferred hope and this time when we got this awesome job, is obviously was a tree of life. Renewed hope for the family.... We are feel so blessed. For a moment I felt like I didn't want to move back to Hawaii, but looking at the bigger picture, God had to remind me, Hawaii is where we are meant to be. It means we are coming full circle, at around the same time in 2005.

Before I close, I wanted to share quotes that I have become so fond of.

"If you can't fight it or or flee it, flow with it."

Seriously, once you realize that you can't fight the situation just jive with it. Things always work themselves out and later down the line you see how and why you were going through it.

"Where you are is where you are meant to be."

This is one I wish I heard 5 years ago, when I hated living in California. We had a lot of bumps in the road from day 1 of us moving out here to be with R. I never really saw this place as a home, but now I actually do accept it as a home and there was a big reason why I needed to be out here. The biggest reasons is my faith, it needed to grow and that it did.

So that's what's going on with us in a nutshell. Never a dull day in the Matsukawa family.

P.S. Congratulations to a friend that just told me she got engaged a few days ago, right when I was typing this. So happy for you two! He's a good guy and you and him totally deserve each other!

< 3M

We are at our home stretch. We have less than 3 months left of residency and we are done! I can't believe our journey is coming full circle!

Survival of the Fittest

I survived this past NASCAR weekend. Hoooray! :) Mr. Jimmie Johnson won, after a nice crack-up on the track immediately following a caution. *Gasp*

Prayers for a Friend

Please pray for a friend that was diagnosed with stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma. He is in the midst of chemo. Please help pray for strength and for healing. He has fought for our country on numerous tours to the Middle East, and now he's fight for his own life.

Hard to Swallow

Life is funny, so we had a couple doors open though we don't intend on putting all of our eggs in one basket. We have so much things going on that sometimes it hard to swallow. I guess we'll know in a few where we will be.

Sometimes God Has Bigger Plans

Unfortunately the call that we as a family were waiting for came out to be something that we dreaded to hear. The husband can't get the job, as the hospital that wanted to hire him decided to outsource their physicians. We were both devastated, more so me than him. It was just so hard to except hearing that everything we had been praying for was not about to come true.

As in the scripture, one can only hope....

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

I have to believe in that, in that God will pave our way, despite our trials. I am praying that a window will open, just like the one that opened for his Residency. We still have other options to pursue, but it's something that we both will need to pray about.

At the end of the day we both know God has bigger plans.

Patience.

Right now, God is really working on me with my lack of patience. It's been a really hard test, and I can honestly say I think I'm failing. For awhile I was doing so well, but now that it's the end of July, I am getting anxious. When I say anxious, I mean it, my IBS, nail biting and my other physicial issues went into full swing. I really can't help it, I am a worry wart. As much as I am praying, and asking for patience, it seems as it's never enough. I know it's just time to walk blindly in faith, but for me, that's something I always had a problem with. We have so many people praying for us and with us, I should be able to do it.

Well, just the other night the husband got an email from the program secretary, they are already looking for chief residents for 2010-2011. People have been pushing the husband to apply, but frankly, it has taken the back burner until we hear more from Hawaii. If Hawaii is something that is turned down, we'll try to get an Attending position and if that falls through, then the chief resident will be on the plate. But the only problem with that plan is that the chief resident application deadline is August 31st for 6 positions, and the program will notify the applicants whether they got the job in October. It's an expidited process, whereas the Attending positions aren't posted until January of 2010.