Therapy, Knowing Joy Will Come in the Morning

Scrapbooking has always been therapeutic for me. I find that my artsy side flows the best when I am emotionally upset. Tonight I took some time to scrapbook a picture of Todd and J, when we went to dinner one night in 2009. I didn't realize I didn't print them back then, so I went and printed and picked him up at Costco today, came home and put a layout together. Will take a picture of it tomorrow.

There are two songs floating through my head, both brought me to tears this afternoon after I played it in my car.

Mandisa - He is With You.
Chris Tomlin - Amazing Grace



There's a time to live
And a time to die
There's a time to laugh
And a time to cry
There's a time for war
And a time for peace
There's a hand to hold
In the worst of these
In the worst of these

Chorus:
He is with you when your faith is dead
And you can't even get out of bed
Or your husband doesn't kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby's gone
And your house is still and your heart's a stone
Cryin' God, what'd you do that for?
He is with you

There's a time for yes
And a time for no
There's a time to be angry
And a time to let it go
There's a time to run
And a time to face it
There is love to see you
Through all of this

Chorus:
He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don't know you anymore
And he is with you in the ICU
When the doctors don't know what to do
And it scares you to the core
He is with you

We may weep for a time
But joy will come in the morning
The morning light

Chorus:
He is with you when your kids are grown
When there's too much space and you feel alone
And you're worried if you got it right or wrong
Yes he is with you when you've given up
On ever finding your true love
Someone who feels like home
He is with you

When nothing else is left
And you take you final breath
He is with you

I remember hearing that song play on the radio on KSGN in SoCal during a time I really needed to hear it. I believe it made me feel a lot better. It's funny how somehow, God has a way to sending messages, either through others, music, the bible, anything, we are simply reminded that we are not alone, He is with you through it all.

With that, I am just waiting on tomorrow when I find out whether or not I can make it out to SoCal to go to the funeral in February. Praying that I will some how finagle a way to get J out of school and R to go with me and lastly, prices to not be so outrageous. I know though, one thing is for sure, God has got it all under control.

Heaven Has a New Angel

His name is Todd Peterson and he will be missed so much here on Earth.

He lost his battle to cancer today, he fought hard and long. Most of all, he did it with so much grace and dignity, never wanting to once give up.

Why does it hurt so much? Well, you see, back in August 2005, I had just moved to California 2 months before, didn't have much friends, and just started a new job. When I started, he was one of the first people to befriend me in the office (beside my boss and a friend that trained me). He made me feel welcome there in an office that is in a world of it's own. He always made sure that I was okay, always making sure my day at work was okay. His smile and warm heart will always be what comes to mind when I think of him...

The world has become a darker place as another friend has said, he brought so much joy and light to many. He was a Paramedic, thus his job alone has helped many. His other jobs much bigger than the place I met him made him a very well known and loved person. We will miss him.

Rest in peace my friend. No more pain.

John 14:1-4
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.

My prayers are lifted to his wife and his family.

Todd, we miss you.

Almost 1/12 of the year down?!

Where has the time gone? Lately, it's been busy, staying at home really keeps you busy. I was fooled by the thought that I would have too much time on my hands, not so. Z keeps me busy as well as the dogs. There may soon be other changes occurring in this family but that is still in the air.

For the most part, I am trying to catch up with my little one's scrapbooks. I have neglected it for so long since, well, the crazy fell off the train. Any way, here's a few layouts to get a sneak peek.



Supplies: Cardstock, Crate Paper



Supplies: Cardstock, EK Success, American Crafts



Supplies: Cardstock, American Crafts, Crate Paper

It's amazing how when the creative juices flow, I can just go, but when there is none, I pretty much shut down.

As for the supplies used they are pretty random. I am loving Crate Paper, I was a little unsure how I was going to use the more antique look, but it seems that has all worked itself out. I am loving it now!! As for American Crafts, I have always loved them, especially their Thickers!! Totally addicted to them and have been for years!

As for the day-to-day, R is loving his clinic work, J loves his teacher and classmates and as for me, loving the SAHM thing. It's definitely priceless! We recently got all of our life insurance cleared and so I am feeling a better sense of security. Our agent is actually an old friend of mine who I have known for years and he was awesome.

Run Down of 2010

With the last few minutes of 2010, I may as well write....

January - Spent time in Hawaii. Accepted an offer for his current employer!! :)

February - Watched news from CA about Hawaii and the tsunami that never came. Worked my last and final NASCAR race.

March - R survived one of the last months of in-patient county call.

April - R celebrated his big 3-0 birthday; Z celebrated her 2nd birthday! We took her to Disneyland along with some friends for an magical day.... Experienced first 7.something earthquake on Easter Sunday! It was intense, never felt that type of shaking before.

May - Had the Residency Graduation dinner. It was the mark of the nearing of the end of residency, something I had longed for! Went to Vegas for the Mother's Day weekend with R and our friends.... R lost his Grandma who basically raised him.. It was a sad time.

June - Completed residency! Never thought that day would come! Packed up and got my wisdom teeth yanked out. No fun! Got on the Dean's List!

July - Move back to Hawaii. Life so different than I had imagined. A lot harder to adjust to being a SAHM than I thought... I really did miss my job and friends. R started his job! Learned he really enjoys being a clinician.

August - Celebrated my birthday! J's 7th birthday! J lost his first tooth too!! It was a long time coming it seemed!

September - A rough month for a loved one. God really saw us through that... My realization kicked in that we will never be "comfortable". Blue Angels came into town, took the kids out the backyard to watch them practice everyday! Most importantly, our CA friends came into Maui and we met them there while staying at our first ever resort the Westin Ka'anapali!

October - Flew back to CA to pick-up Tobi, Hiro and Ando! Visited friends and family and took an overnight trip to Vegas. Took the kids Trick-or-Treating at the mall for Halloween! It's always the beginning of my holiday excitement! J was a vet and Z was Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

November - Although being in Hawaii, we didn't have our "traditional" Thanksgiving at my Uncles, instead with spent out first Thanksgiving in Hawaii with R's family. Something different, but it was interesting...

December - J had his first Christmas performance for his school Winter concert. Loved it!! It was exciting to see him perform on stage!

It was a year filled with so much more than these 2-3 sentences per month. I can't deny I had a good year, God really blessed us and we are looking forward to 2011 and all it has to bring. Well, it's 2011, so I wish everyone, a "Happy New Year"!